STRONG CONQUEROR

Here are some plays that are good, but they’ve been around for a while, so I’ve taken it upon myself to reboot them to keep them fresh, and maybe they’ll catch on.

Waiting for Godot

Dana and Tim are two best friends who probably used to date.  They are fresh out of college twenty something selfish jerks who land jobs waiting tables at West Virginia’s most exclusive new restaurant, Godot’s.  Tim lands in hot water with the local mob boss, Pozzo, when he can’t find the money to cover some outstanding gambling debts, so Dana comes up with a plan: Tim will invite Pozzo to a free meal at Godot’s, and Dana will poison his meal.  Matters get complicated when Pozzo’s lieutenants, after figuring out that Dana was responsible for Pozzo’s death, approach Dana to be their new boss.

A Streetcar Named Desire

Mickey Donovan (“Mickey the Don” to his friends) has the fastest hot rod in New Light City.  He’s the coolest kid in school, he’s got the super-hot Tawny Rome going steady with him, and he’s never lost a race.  When Alice MacAllister moves into town, Mickey can’t stand her.  She’s tough, rides around in her own souped up Cadillac, and unlike Mickey, she has an actual criminal record.  The two butt heads all year, and inevitably Mickey realizes that he’s fallen for Alice.  As he heads over to Alice’s apartment to tell her how he feels, he sees Alice and Tawny making out on the fire escape.  Filled with rage and regret, Mickey goes for a drive to clear his head.  He finally understands that all his macho posturing was the only way he knew how to deal with the cruelties of a life filled with hollow relationships, and he makes a vow to be true to himself.  Later at a stop-light, Alice pulls her cadillac up next to Mickey’s hot rod.  Mickey turns to see her pulling out a gun aimed at his face.  A gunshot rings through the streets as the lights quickly cut out.

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead

Set at the funeral for two friends of a really famous celebrity, it’s basically like an episode of Entourage, but at a funeral for the fat friend and the older Dillon brother.  The two main dudes talk about how much they’ll miss their two friends, but in the process they realize that they didn’t know their friends at all.  The realization that you can spend so much time with some people and never really know them at all drives the two main dudes straight into an existential crisis wherein they understand that the only moment anyone can ever know anyone is in the now.  They cast off their expensive designer suits and they run off into the Hollywood hills where they kiss passionately as the lights fade around them.